You may have heard of colonic cleansing. I tried this. I purchased this vile tasting stuff and mixed it with water and drank gallons of it. I won’t tell you what happened next. Let me just say, it ranked right up there with the stomach flu. (At this point i also want to highlight the word “green” in the blog title.)
The next morning I went to a special room and the man gave me some sleeping stuff which was just wonderful. (He should be crowned King of National Sleep Awareness Week!) The next thing I knew I had beautiful pictures of a clean colon. The man said I should not come back for 10 years. I am so sad because it is wonderful to know that I do not have 25 pounds of “stuff” clogging my lovely colon.
I can heartily recommend that everyone over 50 try this at least once. If, however you are at a swanky spa and they offer this service, my recommendation is to run (not to be confused with “runs”) away as fast as you can.
If after reading this you still would like to have a “cleansed” colon I can help you. I am selling colonic cleansing T-shirts. Yep, how fun is that? Go to my website and click on my Store. You can find lots of fun things. And I might add, the best gifts for birthdays ending in 0, like 30, 40, 50, 60…
If you feel confused, it is because you have not yet realized the very best colonic cleansers are indeed “sexy veggies.” Fruits and veggies are full of colonic cleansing agents called fiber. Try to eat at least 10 grams of fiber at each meal. If you eat whole grains, fruits, veggies, beans, and nuts you will find this to be an easy task. Another easy colonic cleanse is to add psyllium fiber to your diet. You can buy this at your local health food store or just buy some Metamucil.
However, if you want to detoxify your body, cleanse your colon and spend lots of money, then send an email to me. I will be happy to send you a Veggies are Sexy T-shirt or Metamucil. Just send me a check for let’s say, $1500 and I will be happy to cleanse your colon. (Not to be confused with cleansing your palate, which I can also help you with for an additional $1500.) And if you email me in the next 10 minutes, I will send you both products for $1500 plus a very nice vacuum cleaner. (No instructions included on how the vacuum cleaner should be used along with the colonic cleanser.) Email Now! Don’t miss this offer. It will not be repeated, you hope.
