Apologies to Twinkie the Kid!

Apologies!!

I feel I owe an apology to Hostess.  I have been maligning their products for years.  Wonder bread-Twinkies-Hostess Cupcakes….  I have been telling everyone to avoid them like the plague.  I have been telling you that eating a diet filled with these can lead to heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancer.  So today I am coming clean and admitting  “I was absolutely right!”  But, before you attack, let’s look at the true facts.  (Logic question- are their false facts?)

(If politicians/news reporters can make up “true” facts then so can I.) 

Fact:  On occasion in elementary school I would find a Twinkie in my lunch box.  When that happened I was thrilled.  Usually my only treat was some graham crackers spread with homemade frosting.  When I was lucky enough to get a store bought delicacy I felt pretty darn special. 

Fact:  The sale of Twinkies, white bread and Hostess cupcakes has been falling for the last decade. 

Fact:  Heart Disease, hypertension, diabetes and cancers have been escalating exponentially for the last decade. 

Math Story Problem:  (Do you remember math story problems—if a train leaves from A and travels….)

If the sale of Hostess products has been going down over the last decade and the incidence of disease has been going up over the last decade, does the eating of Hostess products cause disease? 

Answer:  Train A will reach Train B in 1 hour and 42 minutes unless there is a cow on the track and then….

Oh wait, sorry-

True Answer:  No, eating Hostess products does not cause all of these diseases.  Listen carefully here. 

These chronic diseases are caused by-

Are you listening?

They are caused by a lifestyle of bad behavior. 

A Twinkie here or there or white bread for your lunch sandwich  is not going to give you chronic disease.  These diseases are caused by a diet filled with bagels and cream cheese and donuts for breakfast.  Happy meals and Big Macs with a gallon of coke for lunch.  A family size Snickers for an afternoon snack.  Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner. Smoking….  Drinking…. Sitting…… These are the things diseases are made of. 

So, it is with great sadness I say good-bye to Twinkies.  I loved them dearly in third grade. 

And to those who know me well- Long Live Twinkie Cake!!

WD

 

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